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Post by vimala on Apr 30, 2008 14:16:19 GMT 5.5
A teacher from Bihar
A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after actual date of joining.Consequently He was asked for explanation in writing . . . Here he goes...
Deer sur,
"This is my first vijit to Bombai. If small small mistakes get inside my letter, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reajon, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I put complaint on station master. He said I to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my sun. I hope u will see my whole story and late me first time I am now ending this fastly.
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Post by vimala on Apr 30, 2008 14:18:10 GMT 5.5
Some Reply from matrimonial ad!!!!!!!!!
am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru. Having Seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself On you and hope you will take me nicely. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot Tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I Am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket And I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in For balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my Rapid balls that bounce a lot. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am Jolly. I am gay. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always Giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on Top. That is how nice I am. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking Tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am Pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you Can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for You. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is Why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and Take my things into your hand. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you Very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Gym. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you And press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your Nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting Very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation. Expecting soon,
Yours and only yours (?)
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Post by vimala on May 2, 2008 20:55:56 GMT 5.5
The Leave Applications
· Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."
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· This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
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· Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.." ****************
· From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave." *************
· Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
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· An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday." ******************
· A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
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· Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
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· Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
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· Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..." ****************
· Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
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· Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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· A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.
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