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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 16:29:52 GMT 5.5
THAT MAKES SENSE
Now if you think of it,
it really makes sense.
Rational and sensible things
but you'll just laugh it off....kyun? Kyun?
Ain't all sensible things ought to be followed?? huh?
1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!
5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!
8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow sure!
9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!
10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???
12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, When tears flows from your eyes always say these words… Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…
13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 16:38:57 GMT 5.5
MOVIES RELATED TO COLLEGE 1. COLLEGE --------------- YAADEIN
2. PRINCIPAL ---------------- JANI DUSHMAN
3. CLASSES ------------------ KABHI KABHI
4. CANTEEN ------------------ KABHI ALVIDA NA KEHNA
5. COURSE --------------------- GODZILLA
6. EXAMS -------------------- KALYUG
7. EXAMINATION- HALL ---------------- CHAMBERS OF SECRET
8. EXAM-TIME ------------------- QAYAMAT SE QAYAMAT
9. QUESTION-PAPER ------------------- PAHELI
10. ANSWER PAPER ------------------ KORA KAGAZ
11. CHEATING -------------------- AKSAR/CHUPKE CHUPKE
12. PAPEROUT -------------------- PLAN
13. EXAMINER ------------------------- THE KILLER
14. LAST-EXAM --------------------- INDEPENDENCE DAY
15. PAPER CORRECTION -------------------- ANDHA KANOON
16. MARKS ------------------- ASSAM BHAV
17. RESULT --------------------- MURDER
18. PASS ---------------------- AJOOBA/CHAMATKAR
19. FAIL -------------------- DEVDAS
20. SUPPLEMENTARY ----------------- AAKHRI RASTA
21. VOCATION -------------------- MASTI/WAH LIFE HO TO AISI NEVER REJECT A DAY IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE GOODDAY GIVES US HAPPINESS AND BADDAY GIVES US EXPERIENCE BOTH ARE ESSENTIAL TO LIFE SO ENJOY EVERYDAY.
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 16:45:11 GMT 5.5
While working on a message the pastor heard a knock at his office door. "Come in," he invited.
A contrite-looking man in threadbare clothes came in, pulling a goat on a rope, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" asked the man with his hat in his hand.
Wordlessly, the pastor indicated the chair and the man sat down in it gingerly. The goat proceeded to sniff around the office.
With one eye on the animal and one on the man, the pastor folded his hands on his desk and leaned forward, curious to hear the fellow's story, "What can I do for you?"
"My family is hungry," started the man. "So I stole this goat. But I feel that I have sinned. Would you please take it?"
"Certainly not," said the minister.
"Then what should I do with it?" asked the man.
"Give it back to the man you stole it from, of course!" the pastor explained.
"I offered it to him, but he refused to take it. Now what should I do?"
"In that case," the minister said, "It would be all right for you to keep it and feed your family."
That seemed to settle things as far as the man was concerned. "Thank you for your help, sir."
With a lighter step, he walked out of the office, leading the goat on the rope behind him.
Later that afternoon when the minister returned home, he said to his wife as he walked in, "I have got a story to tell you."
"I have something to tell you first," she exclaimed. "Someone has stolen your goat!"
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 16:49:58 GMT 5.5
10 rules of indian fim making : Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).
If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
a) die
b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero).
Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) pots
b) barrels
c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.
Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying"Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 16:52:29 GMT 5.5
If you find it very boring in the office, here are some tips:
Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.
Make blank calls to your Boss.
Send mails from lotus notes (outlook)to your internet mail (and immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or your mail?)and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there.Then do vice versa.............!!
Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to irritate him/her.
Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).
Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions whileworking and try changing your ex-pressions also.
Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts.
Make faces at strangers in office.
Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
Learn to whistle.
Revise last week's newspaper.
Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
Compile "How to waste your day"
Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.
Have work breaks in between tea.
Count maximum no of applications your computer can open attime.
For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restorethem.. Then repeat this process.
Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might have lookedwhen(s) he was 5 years old.
Read jokes and send jokes.
Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided andtake a nap. And if you are still getting bored.........................then
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 16:53:29 GMT 5.5
Smart Hubby
This is nice one!!!!!
A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man said "When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
"Your horse called up"
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 16:54:01 GMT 5.5
four friend Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room.
The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes. The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.
The second guy says: Damn, that's terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travelling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also manage to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.
The third guy says: Well, well, well congratulations! ! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some thing very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion specially for his friend.
The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of theirs sons.
The forth friend who earlier had gone to restroom returned and asked: What's going on, what are all the congratulations for?
One of the three said: We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. And then he asked, What about your son?
The fourth man replied: My son is Gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.
The three friends said: What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel.
The forth man replied: No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends.
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 17:06:57 GMT 5.5
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.'
The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.
The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab...................
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 17:07:59 GMT 5.5
teacher ...student
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted: $10. Teacher: You don't know Maths. Ted: You don't know my father! Mother: David, come here. David: Yes, mum. Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow. Mother: I know that, but I'm going Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you now.
Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test? Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8 Father: So? Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes Dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No, mine is undying love
Man: How old is your father? Boy: 1 year older then me Man: How can that be? Boy: He became a father only when I was born
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Simon: No, teacher. It's the same dog!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything! Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Singapore , Sir. Teacher: Which part? Student: All of me, Sir.
Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair? Ah Kow: No comb, Sir. Teacher: Use your dad's then. Ah Kow: No hair, Sir.
A boy came home from school with his exam results. "What did you get?" asked his father. "My marks are under water," said the boy. "What do you mean 'under water'?" " They are all below 'C' (sea) level!"
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 17:08:53 GMT 5.5
A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The one on the right." " That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
The Indian mother replies,
... .... .... .... ..... .. .. .. .. . ............ ............ .. ... .... .... .... ..... .. .. .. .. . ............ ............ .. .
............ ............ .. ... .... .... .... ..... .. .. .. .. . ............
" I don't like her " ....!!!!!!!! !!
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Post by vimala on May 10, 2008 17:09:37 GMT 5.5
Psychology Test
A There are five things going on simultaneously which need to be taken care of: 1. The telephone is ringing. 2. The baby is crying. 3. Someone knocks at the front door or rings the doorbell. 4. There is laundry hanging on the line and it begins to rain. 5. The water faucet in the kitchen is running. In what order do you take care of the problems? Jot down your order, and scroll down After you've made your decision. Don't cheat! Scroll Down!
* * * * * * * * * * ** ***
*
***
* *
**************
Here are the answers. Each of the items above represents a facet of your life.
1. The phone represents your job or career.
2. The baby represents your family.
3. The visitor represents your friends.
4. The laundry represents your sex life.
5. The running water represents money/wealth. Makes you think, right? How close did this test match your priorities in life?
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Post by vimala on May 24, 2008 12:47:31 GMT 5.5
Punjabi munda paper to ek din pehla
A dekho Punjabi munde paper to ek din pehla ki ki karde/sochde aa
6 am: 10 min hor so liye..
9 am: 11 waje shuru karange..
11 am: thodi der gaane tan sun liye.. Mood ban ju..
12 pm: pind de geri mar ayie.. Aa k parhde haan..
2 pm: roti kha k sona ni..
5 pm: koi prohna ghar aage , 2min kol beth liye..
7 pm: important puch lene han kise padaku ton.
9 pm: iddan ni kam ban na parchi banouni peni ae.
11 pm: hun kithe tyaari hougi agle saal hi devange
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