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Post by vimala on Nov 1, 2007 19:47:43 GMT 5.5
* Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
* It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
* A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
* Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai? Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare...
* Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding? To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead!
* There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it
* Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
* Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Post by vimala on Nov 25, 2007 17:09:21 GMT 5.5
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies? A: Puppies grow up. ************ * Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces? A: Because they are... ************ * Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles? A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever. ************ * Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first? A: Who cares? ?.. ... ************ * Q: What did God say after he created man? A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!. ************ * Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ? A: I don't know, I've never seen either. ************ * Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? A: I) no mind ii) no business ************ * Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions . ************ * Q: What is the difference between men and pigs? A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink... ************ * Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving. ************ * Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift? A: Exchange him!! ************ * Q: Why do men like smart women? A: Opposites attract. ************ * Pass this on to some women who need a laugh .. And to men who can handle it !
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Post by vimala on Nov 25, 2007 17:12:28 GMT 5.5
Women are always Clever Man: " Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator. "
Man: "I know how to please a woman ." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."
Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty soon?" Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you." Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there ?
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Post by vimala on Nov 30, 2007 8:44:50 GMT 5.5
Some Really Intelligent Answers ************************************************** Question and the Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry they are IAS (Indian Administrative Services - THE most difficult examination in India. Candidates are graduate Officers now. Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper).
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS) .
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS) .
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES).
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98).
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2) .
Q. What looks like half apple? A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper) .
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast? A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented? A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state? A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank ).
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Post by vimala on Nov 30, 2007 8:46:01 GMT 5.5
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question." "Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. "What comes first, Day or Night?" The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!" "How" the interviewer asked, "Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!" He was selected for IIM!
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Post by vimala on Nov 30, 2007 13:36:46 GMT 5.5
Java Questions Q. What are the types of Java ? A. MarJaava, MitJaava, Mere jindagee tere naam kar Java Java.. Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface? A. Terms are different ... Nothing more Q. What is JFC ? A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ? A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres. Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ? A. Send it through courier. Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ? A. As you wish , I do not have any objections. Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ? A. Non living things can't communicate. Q. What is meant by flickering ? A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls. Q. Explain RMI Architecture? A. I am a computer professional not an architect student. Q. What is the use of Servlets ? A. In hotels, they can replace servers. Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ? A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process. Q. When is update method called ? A. Who is update method? Q. What is JAR file ? A. File that can be kept inside a jar. Q. What is JINI ? A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend. Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script? A. I will give invitation. Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ? A. I will go and enquire in the bus dep to. Q. What is serialization ? A. Arranging one after the other from left to right. Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ? A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used. Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ? A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow. Q. What is the exact diffe rence between Unicast and Multicast object ? A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast ******************************************
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Post by vimala on Nov 30, 2007 13:44:58 GMT 5.5
Who is clever? Teacher or student? (REALLY FUNNY)
One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night
And Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.
In the morning they thought of a plan.
They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night
and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car!
all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days.
They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean.
The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test,
All four were required to sit in seperate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ........( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tyre burst ?........... ....( 98 MARKS )
a) Front Left b) Front Right c) Back Left d) Back Right .....!!!
******************************************************
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Post by vj on Dec 21, 2007 16:26:15 GMT 5.5
Some GK Questions
1.What is the expansion of YAHOO? Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle
2.What is the expansion of ADIDAS? ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports
3 .Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network? Satellite Television Asian Region
4.What is expansion of "ICICI ?" Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India
5.What does "baker's dozen" signify? A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen
6. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot- India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why? That match was abandoned after ppl heard the news of indira gandhi being killed.
7. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries? Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar Bangla)
8.From what four word ex-pression does the word 'goodbye' derive? Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.
9.How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known? Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.
10.Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th? South Korea .
11.Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007? Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known during the cold war)
12.Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match? Geoffrey Boycott
13. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe ? John Traicos
14. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore? George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln
15. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country(other than Vatican ) ? Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa .
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Post by vj on Dec 21, 2007 16:40:00 GMT 5.5
Tricky Questions :
1 - The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
2 - A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible?
3 - Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
4 - Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
5 - Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion 8." Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's wrong with the story?
6 - What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
7 - In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?
8 - A woman from New York married ten different men from that city, yet she did not break any laws. None of these men died and she never divorced. How was this possible?
9 - Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
10 - How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
11 - A taxi driver was called to take a group of passengers to the train station. The station is normally an hour away, but with traffic being extra heavy, it took a full hour and a half. On the return trip the traffic was still as heavy and yet it took only 90 minutes. Why?
12 - How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.
13 - Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
14 - Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
15 - In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
16 - There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the "International Home Show". One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?
17 - After the new Canon Law that took effect on November 27, 1983, would a Roman Catholic man be allowed to marry his widow's sister?
Answers 1- A coffin
2 - The child was born before 1776
3 - Mount Everest, it just hadn't been discovered!
4 - Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.
5 - World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II.
6 - The word "and".
7 - They fall in the same year every year, New Year's Day just arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late in the same year.
8 - The lady was a Justice of the Peace.
9 - One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.
10 - Only once, then you are subtracting it from 20.
11 - An hour and a half IS 90 minutes.
12 - "one word"
13 - Penguins live in the Antarctic.
14 - Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow.
15 - You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a wooden leg.
16 - They were husband and wife.
17 - He can't because he's dead.
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Post by vj on Dec 21, 2007 16:51:39 GMT 5.5
What is B.E?
8 semesters are there
80GB syllabus
80MB we study
80KB we remember
80 Bytes we answer
BINARY marks we get,
The Degree finally we get is BE
That is Brain Empty (B.E)
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Post by vimala on Jan 9, 2008 16:22:36 GMT 5.5
Million, Billion, Trillion Differences How much is a Million? How much is a Billion? How much is a Trillion? What's the difference between a million, a billion, a trillion? A million seconds is 13 days. A billion seconds is 31 years. A trillion seconds is 31,688 years. A million minutes ago was – 1 year, 329 days, 10 hours and 40 minutes ago. A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ. A million hours ago was in 1885. A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth. A million dollars ago was five (5) seconds ago at the U.S. Treasury. A billion dollars ago was late yesterday afternoon at the U.S. Treasury. A trillion dollars is so large a number that only politicians Can use the term in conversation. .. Probably because they Seldom think about what they are really saying. I've read that Mathematicians do not even use the term trillion! Here is some perspective on TRILLION: Trillion = 1,000,000,000, 000. The country has not existed for a trillion seconds. Western civilization has not been around a trillion seconds. One trillion seconds ago – 31,688 years – Neanderthals stalked the plains of Europe. Million: 1,000,000 Billion: 1,000,000,000 Trillion: 1,000,000,000, 000 Quintillion: 1,000,000,000, 000,000,000 Sextillion: 1,000,000,000, 000,000,000, 000 Nonillion: 1,000,000,000, 000,000,000, 000,000,000, 000 Centillion: 1 followed by 303 zeros It's the spending, stupid!
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Post by vimala on Apr 14, 2008 22:47:10 GMT 5.5
Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. An old friend who once saved your life. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; * or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to! Pay him back. * However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?
He simply answered:
"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?"
The candidate who was selected answered “I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"
Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up found that you were pregnant.
Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.
Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked.
Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, and then he asked what is before you?
Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea"
He got selected.
You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.
(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet) Reply was "TEA" (T - alphabet)
Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"
Question 5: Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"? People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mitila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...
But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavathaar.
So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!
Question 6: The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."
Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table, then he answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask.
And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness.
This is what Interviewer expects from the Interviewee
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